legitimate threats to inner peace and tranquility

1. dirty bathrooms.
2. never knowing whether the hand towel in said bathroom is actually clean; or, if the towel one uses to dry one's face has been used by someone else, or sat germinating on the floor before being hung back up.
3. sisters who snore.
4. working in retail.
5. employment in general.
6. mentally unstable mothers.
7. the general stupidity and/or hypocrisy of friends, acquaintances, or even complete strangers.
8. menstruating.

food for thought:

the technical difficulty in operating various kinds of boxes. shoe boxes, pizza boxes, donut boxes, the wierd flaps on boxes for various kitchen appliances...all are designed to make you feel intellectually inferior to cardboard in various geometric forms. think about it - you think closing up the box after checking your shoe size (or getting a slice of pizza, or grabbing a donut, or making sure all the parts are in the box for your vegetable steamer) and the flaps just WILL NOT operate correctly. no matter how many times you pull the lid down, you can't figure out why it doesn't work out. after several minutes of agonizing over this, you give up, leave the box halfway open, and feel like an utter failure because you couldn't figure out the mechanics of a box.

WARNING

you too could be in danger of becoming a monkey spanking wanker. signs and symptoms include but are not limited too:

1) straightening your bangs every morning/ having an obsession with crest whitening strips
2) overusage of the term BAMF
3)confiscating someone elses 8 sided wooden enclosure of peace and turning into your ultra cool hangout
4) too obsessed with the idea of having memories to actually create them
5)utter disillusionment with reality

i scream, you scream, we should all scream...

...for the 80s.

Big hair, big bands, big music...I mean, really - what wasn't awesome about the 80s? We can mock the mullet and scorn the shoulder pads, but don't forget to give that decade some love. Miley Cyrus and her alter ego, Hannah Montana, may have taken over the world with achy-breaky Billy Ray sitting in the corner yee-hawing; but, I live and breathe for the 80s (and the Boss).

Volume One of Mare's Essential 80s:


Heart, "Alone"


Madonna, "Borderline"


Joan Jett, "Bad Reputation"


scene from The Goonies


scene from The Breakfast Club

something we learned the hard way

Despite your best efforts and a bottle of SPF 45, severe sunburn can and will still happen. Oi vey.

the man who propositioned me today en route to the library (scooter included)

abeba the african violet