"chasing pavements"

by adele.


fabulous.

big families have their perks. vacations are not one of them - or they can be, but this only happens once in a blue moon. vacation prep? probably where i have heard and learned some of the most profane words in the english language. driving up the turnpike behind an 11 passenger van that was somehow so incapable of holding everything necessary for a weeklong vacation that a trailer requiring its own license plate was attached to it? mortifying. spending a week in a house with almost 30 other people ranging in age from 2 to 48 made my life more stressful, not less. and being told to consume fruits and vegetables approximately 10 times a day as though i were in kindergarten and incapable of making basic decisions about my meals just about sent me over the edge.

in other words, the 2008 sweeney pocono trip was a smashing success. truly.

my xanga expertise is listed as "food consumption."

f.y.i.

the following is a list of the items currently banned in carry-on luggage by the transportation security administration:

box cutters, ice axes/ice picks, knives, meat cleavers, razor-type blades, sabers, swords, baseball bats, bows and arrows, cricket bats, golf clubs, hockey sticks, lacrosse sticks, pool cues, ski poles, spear guns, ammunition, bb guns, compressed air guns, firearms, flare guns, flares, gun lighters, gun powder, parts of guns and firearms, pellet guns, realistic replicas of firearms, starter pistols, axes and hatchets, cattle prods, crowbars, hammers, drills and drill bits, saws, tools larger than 7 inches, billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, kubatons, mace/pepper spray, martial arts weapons, night sticks, nunchakus, stun guns/shocking devices, throwing stars, blasting caps, dynamite, fireworks, flares, hand grenades, plastic explosives, realistic replicas of explosives, aerosol, fuels, gasoline, gas torches, lighter fluid, torch lighters, strike-anywhere matches, flammable paints, turpentine and paint thinner, realistic replicas of incendiaries, chlorine for pools and spas, fire extinguishers and other compressed gas cylinders, liquid bleach, spillable batteries, spray paint, tear gas, beverages in containers larger than 3 oz., gel-type candles, gel shoe inserts, flammable liquid/gel/aerosol paint, and finally, snow globes and similar decorations.

it goes without saying that i'm pretty disappointed that i have to leave my brass knuckles and meat cleaver behind.

"In three words, I can sum up everything that I've learned about life: It goes on."

-Robert Frost

excellent morning-after reasons against drinking excessively

1. walks of shame.
2. driving should really not be attempted - especially turning (if you value your life).
3. operating simple machines causes general hysteria and ends in failure.
4. just because you can down a ton of booze the night before doesn't mean that your digestive system is equipped to handle it the next morning (or all day, even).
5. when the HELL did you write all of those text messages, and what language are they written in?
6. difficulty performing basic human functions (i.e. - standing up, walking, speaking coherently).
7. continuing a trend of poor life decisions from the night before (for example, passing out on your sleeping bag and pillow while waiting for your train and/or drinking a wild cherry flavored capri sun after having a gross amount of strawberry margaritas 6 hours earlier).

instant pleasure

i dont want somebody to love me, just give me sex whenever i want it.

-rufus wainwright.


i just ate an entire carton of ice cream.

why don't we have...

...a facebook "enemies" category? there's friends, mutual friends, people you might know, top friends, etc. facebook should let us acknowledge people that we despise - whether you wear your hatred on your sleeve or bottle it up to the point of spontaneous combustion. it's a little passive aggressive - but if we can be "friends" with people we've never even met before, then i think we should also have the right to recognize our sworn enemies via social networking.

(brilliant.)