big families have their perks. vacations are not one of them - or they can be, but this only happens once in a blue moon. vacation prep? probably where i have heard and learned some of the most profane words in the english language. driving up the turnpike behind an 11 passenger van that was somehow so incapable of holding everything necessary for a weeklong vacation that a trailer requiring its own license plate was attached to it? mortifying. spending a week in a house with almost 30 other people ranging in age from 2 to 48 made my life more stressful, not less. and being told to consume fruits and vegetables approximately 10 times a day as though i were in kindergarten and incapable of making basic decisions about my meals just about sent me over the edge.

in other words, the 2008 sweeney pocono trip was a smashing success. truly.

my xanga expertise is listed as "food consumption."

road trips are fantastic.

After spending a week in Appalachia, my only important insights now involve the prolonged car rides both to and from the great state of Kentucky. Two large vans holding a total of 20 people, filled to capacity with luggage, college students, a plethora of onion bagels, and coffee. It wasn't so bad at first. Sure, we woke up before the crack of dawn, but I slept for the first few hours and we made a few rest stops. The more coffee I drank, the harder it was to sleep. And let's be serious. Folding yourself up as though you're some sort of freakish acrobat who can fit themselves into a box in order to sleep comfortably in the inadequate space of the car seat that you have is really not all that comfortable - especially for 11 hours, not counting the numerous potty breaks and emergency pullovers due to disappearing contacts, nausea, and missed turns. All this is happening while I am curled up in the furthest seat from the doors in the very last row next to the window. Instead of air conditioning, the rear air blasted heat through the vents; I had to sit and wait for the occasional Arctic gust from the front seat. I tried to read for about an hour on the ride there, before the twisting and turning throughout the Appalachians made me decide that I didn't want the contents of my stomach decorating the upholstery of the car. After dropping people off at Hagerstown on the way home, a massive bag of dirty laundry belonging to a kid who didn't shower all week sat on the top of all the luggage right behind my head. We drove into Philadelphia in the midst of a 100 degree heat wave during the first week of June.

To make a long story short....three cheers for road trips!