excellent morning-after reasons against drinking excessively

1. walks of shame.
2. driving should really not be attempted - especially turning (if you value your life).
3. operating simple machines causes general hysteria and ends in failure.
4. just because you can down a ton of booze the night before doesn't mean that your digestive system is equipped to handle it the next morning (or all day, even).
5. when the HELL did you write all of those text messages, and what language are they written in?
6. difficulty performing basic human functions (i.e. - standing up, walking, speaking coherently).
7. continuing a trend of poor life decisions from the night before (for example, passing out on your sleeping bag and pillow while waiting for your train and/or drinking a wild cherry flavored capri sun after having a gross amount of strawberry margaritas 6 hours earlier).